Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Today is my one-year anniversary at Clarity. I've lived in this city for one year and three weeks, been promoted, signed an apartment lease, won a cooking contest and retired my red bra. I feel grown-up.

I am happy.

Why I love Alanis...and her hump.

One of my favorites

The Numbers
Kim Addonizio

How many nights have I lain here like this, feverish with plans, with fears, with the last sentence someone spoke, still trying to finish a conversation already over?

How many nights were wasted in not sleeping, how many in sleep - I don't know how many hungers there are, how much radiance or salt, how many times

the world breaks apart, disintegrates to nothing and starts up again in the course of an ordinary hour. I don't know how God can bear seeing everything at once: the falling bodies, the monuments and burnings,

the lovers pacing the floors of how many locked hearts. I want to close

my eyes and find a quiet field in fog, a few sheep moving toward a fence.

I want to count them, I want them to end. I don't want to wonder how many people are sitting in restaurants about to close down, which of them will wander the sidewalks all night while the pies revolve in the refrigerated dark. How many days are left of my life, how much does it mattter if I manage to say one true thing about it - how often have I tried, how often failed and fallen into depression? The field is wet, each grassblade gleaming with its own particularity, even here, so that I can't help asking again, the white sky filling with footprints, bricks, with mutterings over rosaries, with hands that pass over flames before covering the eyes. I'm tired. I want to rest now.

I want to kiss the body of my lover, the one mouth, the simple name without a shadow. Let me go. How many prayers are there tonight, how many of us must stay awake and listen?

Some fun things I've seen/done/found in the past week

- A 10 minute version of Over the Rhine's "Lifelong Fling," possibly the sexiest song on the planet. It's divine. The version I found was from their "Changes" album. Obsessed. And speaking of music, I love Lucinda William's new album - West.

- Being in New York for the "Valentine's Blizzard." I've never been so cold in my life. Sarah and I stood on 42nd and Broadway at midnight, trying to hail a cab back to Astoria - with no such luck. The wind was outrageous. I won't soon forget us trudging our way through snow in Times Square, freezing our asses off.

- Drooling over the cutest rainboots from JCrew, and wishing I had them for the aforementioned snowstorm.

- Attending the Proenza Schouler fashion premier show. The designer duo is now offering some of their designs to Target, and the show was premiering some of the clothes Target would be selling. It was my first "fashion" experience in New York thus far. (Well, excluding the time I went to the Sex & the City fashion sale a couple years ago - where I couldn't afford a sock. The cheapest thing in the place was $300). At Proenza's show, I got a dress and and a clutch for $50.

- Sarah introducing me to the "Become an M&M" website. Boy, did we have fun with that today...

(Ana)

(Josh)

(Nicolette)

You can see Sarah's M&M on her facebook. Same for me.

been around a long while

I've had this blog for a good long while...as evidenced by the posts from '04. I don't want to delete them, though. They're very me. Very sappy. I'm so full of sap.

I'm sleepy and there isn't too much to say...except I feel that I'm ready and need to start blogging again. So perhaps I will. That is, if I can blog something that will be of interest to all of you... (i.e., no more future blog posts like this one).

Hope you're well. Hope you're happy. Hope you're full and peaceful.

Oh, and of course - Happy Birthday to the ever so lovely Ana. Should you read this: you are loved. I can't drink a sip of alcohol and not wish you were next to me, laying in grass, pointing out constellations. (See the sap? It never ends).

stuff and things

a. read this

b. watch this

c. support this